Getting children to sleep

Children can fly – a childs imagination or truth?

Children flying at night

When I was little I believed that (all) children could fly.  This was well before I had heard of Peter Pan – I don’t know why but I just believed that children could fly.  This idea was as natural to me as walking when I was little.  I thought that all children would fly at night when the adults were asleep and it was a sort of secret thing that only I knew about.  I could fly so  it was just a natural assumption on my part that all other children could fly in the same way as me, but I never spoke to any other children about it apart from my little brother and sister.  Thinking back now I don’t ever remember seeing other flying children during my night travels, but so convinced that flying children was a fact that even when I had my own children I assured them that they too had this incredible ability to fly at night when everyone else was sleeping.

When I was a young child and up until I was 12 years old, we lived in the country so most of our neighbours houses were not close to ours and this meant that the night sky’s were very black, only being lit by the moon and the stars.  My bedroom was really nice, at the rear of the house it  had a raked ceiling and on one side of the room, which was the back wall of the house and there were high windows along the ceiling that spanned the entire length of the room.  You couldn’t reach the windows, but every night as I lay in my bed I could see the night sky and I would notice  how clearly the star’s would shine and twinkle through the windows.  They would call me to go flying.  Just like Peter Pan I guess, except sometimes instead of flying by myself, I would take my little brother and sister with me and we would go on a magic flying carpet just like the Arabian movies,  and we would travel far and wide way above in the sky while everyone else was sleeping in their beds at home.

From my bed I would look up and out at the stars and the black sky and soon I would feel myself lift from the bedclothes.  Then I would  just fly out of those high windows and off to adventure.  Even now as an adult with three children, one grandchild and another on the way I still firmly believe that I used to fly at night, and I still believe that all children have the ability to fly at night, but some don’t know about this ability.  Just like in Peter Pan, to ”know” how to fly you must believe you can.  I think that for children to really believe they must have parents that encourage their child to explore what seem just imaginary ideas.  Who really knows what power we actually have?  How do we really know if something is real or imaged?  Might our children be looking at something that is actually real in another time and space - like imagining something that will be in the future?  I also believe that we have just forgotten how to fly.  When I grew into an adult and started to read my own children stories, I discovered that my little sister’s name, “Wendy” came from the book of Peter Pan and I have always thought of her as magical – just to say the name, “Wendy” makes me think of those days flying at night with my brother and sister.

Peter Pan & Wendy

I also think that within us we also have the ability to teleport ourselves from one place to another, much more advanced than flying.  We just don’t know how to do it yet, but I think that we have the ability, we just don’t know it.  Sometimes I wonder if I accidentally fell down a hill, would I remember how to fly just as I did as a child?  Would it all come back to me and then I would just swoop back up into the sky flying?

Some may attribute my childhood belief in flying  to a wish to escape my childhood.  There may be some truth in that idea, but I don’t think so.  I just think that I just believed in special things and that no one was able to deter me in my belief’s.  I was also very lucky to have had a Nan and Grandfather who encouraged me to think outside of the norm.  When we were little, my brother used to believe that his best friend was a talking snake who wore a hat and carried a walking cane.  My parents used to worry that he was playing with a real snake since we lived on a farm and snakes were common.  Either way, he still came flying with me most nights when we were children - sadly I think he has forgotten this simple pleasure and now gets on with the business of being an adult like most of us.

So if your child tells you that they can fly at night then listen to them and marvel at their incredible ability.  Don’t just tell them that they are silly.  Of course you must be sure that they are not going to jump off a building or something high and hurt themselves, so it is best to talk about it first.  I think that the main thing is to embrace the “feeling” that they are expressing – it is fantastic to “feel” that you can fly.  So listen and maybe you might just remember how to fly again yourself….

….Is is it just their imagination or do children actually tap into a reality of the power that is within all of us to “know” these special things?  Maybe we just teach them to grow up and be realistic, and then they just forget those wonderful things that they “knew” when they were children flying at night. 

DISCLAIMER:  I AM NOT AND PLEASE DO NOT ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO JUMP OFF BUILDINGS IN THE BELIEF THAT THEY CAN FLY THIS IS A TRUE STORY FROM MY CHILDHOOD USED HERE TO DEMONSTRATE THE POWER OF A CHILD’S IMAGINATION.

How to get babies and small children to sleep the easy way

How to get babies and small children to sleep the easy way

Firstly you need to have an absolute belief that it is absolutely natural and normal for children, particularly babies to go to sleep.  Then you must minimise panic on your part and create an environment that is stress free.  Babies don’t need to sleep in absolute quietness, this is something that we learn as we get older – but think about the environment that they are born into in a hospital.  Not very quiet – in fact very busy and noisy so don’t take them home to a super quiet home.  Just put them to bed for their day time nap and continue to do what you are doing – of course unannounced loud noises will wake them, but once asleep you will find that you can even bump their bed and they will still stay asleep.

Next, you need to make sure that you eliminate anything that might be preventing them from sleeping and this is usually known to us because they are crying.  A bit of noise, talking, ga ga’ing and playing is OK for day sleeps and rests.  Try to stay out of the room whilst this is happening and let them have a bit of time to themselves.  As long as you have made their bed safe you need only quietly check on them regularly from the door – make sure they don’t see you.   If they continue to cry then you need to eliminate issues like;

• dirty nappy
• did you put them down to sleep when they were hungry
• have they got wind
• are they sick
• is there something wrong with the bedding
• is there a distraction in the room that is keeping them awake like a different light on, something out the window or a pet in the room that is not normally there

Then it is really important to do the SAME thing for every bedtime and you routine is up to you, but this was mine.

1. Put them down in the bed
2. Fix their bedding
3. Give them their favourite toy or bottle
4. Put on the musical toy over the bed
5. Kiss them and say “sleep now”
6. Go out

Ok, if this is all ok, then just leave them to rest and continue to check on them until sleep time is over.

I am not saying that it is always this easy – but after raising 3 children myself I can tell you that what works the best is the belief that it is OK for them to just sleep.

GETTING THEM TO SLEEP IN A RESTAURANT OR DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT

I used to take all my kids out to dinner and have them sleep under the table.  This is how?

We would book a quiet table and ask the restaurant owner to put us in a corner of the restaurant that had minimal distractions.  When they were little babies (which is the easiest) I would breast feed them and put them in their pram using familiar sheets to their normal cot.  I would then repeat the same process as above when doing the bedtime routine at home.  I would put some muslin over the pram so they could be in their own little space and this replaces closing the door.  Then leave them and go on with what you were doing.  If this doesn’t work repeat the routine, but always remember that this is OK and quite normal.

When my babies were a bit bigger, I would pretty much do the same except that I would have them at the (restaurant) table first in a high chair, feed them and begin the same bedtime routine.  Then we had a great mini sleeping bad/mattress that we would unfold under the bed.  It is important to set this up right at the start of the restaurant experience so that they know that this is where they are going to sleep when they have finished their dinner.  It always worked -  occasionally we would need to take them outside for some reason or another, but as soon as we returned we would go through the same routine again.

It is important that this be stress free for everyone, so don’t expect a super romantic dinner with absolutely no interruptions, but you should still be able to have a nice dinner.  This same routine can be used if you are in a different environment and they need to sleep, like a friend’s house .

My children are now 13, 20 and 29 and I did this will all of them.  They have  been all over the world, on and off planes and in and out of hotels and business meetings.  All have coped well and much of our life travelling with them has been stress free.  The important thing to remember is to plan, relax and enjoy yourself and this will help to make the experience of getting babies and small children to sleep so much easier and very rewarding.  Remember it is actually a loving thing for a parent to create a safe environment for their child to have a sleep in.  If you are somewhere different to home and have tried this routine and tried and it just isn’t working – don’t worry it just may not work in this situation, but that doesn’t mean that it won’ work the very next time.  Maybe it just isn’t right in this particular situation to have a child sleeping.  Children are good judges of situations and may feel unsafe for some reason that you can’t control.  So again try to relax and go with it, don’t be too hard on yourself or the child, reassure them, give them a cuddle and enjoy the fact that you are together.