Commonsense child raising

Flying with babies and little children

Flying with babies

I travel a lot and so fly often, and notice how many babies still cry when the plane is on the descent to land, most likely due to the pressure building up in their little ears.  I have travelled with all my children right from when they were tiny babies, my youngest daughter flew with us from Sydney to New Zealand when she was only 3 weeks old and we were fortunate to have a bulkhead seat with a cot.  Travelling on flights with children can be difficult and stressful, but from my experience you can make it a little easier. So here are my tips;

WHEN YOU BOOK YOUR FLIGHT

Try to get a bulkhead seat as these have the most floor space in front of you.  Choose a seat as close the centre of the plane as you can as this is the softest ride and if you can be near to the toilets.  The area around the toilets at the front, back and middle of the usually has more space and can be a good place for you to stand when you are settling your baby.  It is also where you will find flight staff to help you if you need it or just to be able to talk to other passengers to help you relax.

BEFORE YOU LEAVE HOME – Packing the onboard bag;

• Make sure you have everything that you need for the flight packed in a bag that you can easily carry whilst holding the baby.  If there are two of you this is easier, but pretend that it is just you and pack as if it is just one of you in case you get separated into different seats or you need to move quickly;
• I always packed a couple of nappies (they should have these on the flight but don’t presume), put in a spare spit up rag or cloth nappy as well as bibs.  We have had to deal with a major pooh session one time while the plane was coming into land and we couldn’t get up! errr, so a plastic bag is also useful;
• Always carry some water – if security is still a problem and you can’t take a bottle on, then carry something that you can put water into when you get onboard;
• If your child is under two, take a bottle with some water or juice, even if you are breastfeeding.  On long flights if you get sick or lose your milk someone else might need to feed your baby and this will help reduce your stress;
• Pack spare clothes for the baby and a spare blouse or T Shirt for yourself (just in case!);
• Put in some lollies, fruit or food for yourself and your child.  I have been on a number of flights where the inflight meals were not delievered due to bad weather and the last thing you want is a hungrey child when the seat belt sign won’t go off;
• Add something that will help you to relax, like a small comfortable pillow and baby rug.  I had a great shawl which is just a long rectangle but it is wide and I can use it to wrap around me if could or put it over me as a blanket in the plane.

AT THE AIRPORT

airport checkin queue

We always took our own stroller and quite often we would also take the baby car seat if we were driving a car at the other end.  I made a sturdy canvas bag for the car seat with a draw string top and a shoulder strap and handle – it just goes in the luggage and the straps make it easy to grab it off the luggage roundabout with only one hand when you get to the other end.  You can use this for any thing that you want to take – porta cot, childs bicycle or anything that won’t fit in a normal bag.

My husband would wear a Kapoochi (baby sling) which was sturdy and light but left his arms free to do other things.  He would wear this so that our daughter was on the front, facing outwards when she got a little bigger and snuggled inward when a baby.  He would have it on ready before we got out of the cab at the airport.  We could then put the baby straight into the sling or straight into the stroller right from the cab ready to go an checkin.  In those days, you needed to go to the counter unlike now where you can checkin online and drop your bags.

Be safe rather than sorry

When the children got bigger and especially if I was travelling alone, I would tie them to me so that I could have my hands free when I needed.  I used to get some pretty terrible looks from people sometimes but it was better than losing my child in a crowded airport when my hands are full of luggage and I needed to concerntrate.  This is a great method if you have another small child as it is otherwise very difficult and you need to do what works for you.  I didn’t use the harness at other times, but it was great for this purpose and would fold up easily in my bag when I wasn’t using it.

Go to the Check in and put as much through the luggage as possible.  Sometimes you can get a stroller from there that you can use right up until you get to your gate.  This is a great help as it means you can put yours through the luggage and it is one less thing to worry about.  Put your child straight into the stroller provided by the airline while you are at the Check in area and this will make it easier to concentrate.   We used an umbrella style stroller for trips as you can pick it up with one hand and it is a snap to fold up quickly.

When travelling together getting through security with a child isn’t too hard, but when you are alone it can be very stressful.  When I was alone, I would put all my bits (including laptop) into one of those plastic containers, then at the last-minute stick it on the conveyor belt to go through the scanner.  When I thought it was going through OK, I would then push my child through the security gate ahead of me – then I would follow.  This way you can quickly walk straight through and get your child’s hand on the way before dealing with your belongings.  I have seen many a parent go through first only to then be delayed by a security person whilst trying to get back through the scanner to collect their child!  Too stressful!

Don't let them get lost in this!

Don’t ever leave your child standing anywhere in an airport by themselves.  When you go to the toilet take your small child (even as old as 10 I would suggest) into the cubicle with you.  If you are a female travelling alone with a male child, take them in if there is no parent toilet – don’t worry about what people think of you.  You might think that the domestic airport in your city will be OK – but don’t make this a habit for international airports.  I have seen 4 year olds waiting outside mum’s cubicle, getting sick of it and following someone outside while their mum is still locked in doing their business!  Also stressful.  If you are by yourself and you have a stroller and bags and maybe another child with you, go to the Parents Room.  If there is no Parents Room, take the stroller in with you and jam it in the door of your cubicle with the baby still in it.  Have your other child and yourself in the cubicle.  Sounds like a lack of privacy, but really it works and at least you know where everyone is.  I used to hang a bag or coat over the door and it works fine.  There were very few parents room’s in airports even fifteen years ago, and thirty years ago it just wasn’t heard of.

Ask someone to help you.  If you just can’t cope with all the bags and kids, then ask someone to help you to open a door or carry your lunch to your table from the counter. You don’t have to do everything yourself, most people are more than happy to help.  I would not advise you to let someone else hold your child or any of your bags or belongings.

AT THE GATE

Get ready to get on early.  Get your baby out of the stroller as you will need to leave it at the gate, put your baby into your sling, or make sure your little one attaced to you with the harness again.  There are lots of great connecting methods now – we used to have stretchy coil cords that had a velcro band for the parents wrist and the same type of band for the childs wrist.

Wait at the front of the line and when they call the early boarding for parents with children – get on!  You will need that extra time and space before the other passenger get on to get yourself organised.

ON BOARD

all cosy in the cot

Get everything that you might need while the plane is taking off out of your bag now.  Bottle, spit rag, pillow or toy – but get it out before you take off in case the Captain delays’ the “seatbelt off sign” for some reason.  Being a parent you will probably already have little snacks ready.

If you need to go to the toilet on a long flight and you are travelling with a small baby by yourself, you will be able to take them with you even if that means balancing them on the change table with one hand whilst you go to the toilet.  Once I was on a long flight without any children and I held a little baby for a mother travelling alone just so she could have a rest and go to the tiolet.  You will be able to tell if you can trust someone enough to hold your baby.  This method is particularly useful if your baby is upset and you are tired.  It will give you a little time to yourself and the baby will most likely settle for someone who is not as connected to them as you are.

ON THE DESCENT

A good child sling will help

This is the most important part.  If you are breastfeeding put the baby on the breast as soon as you feel the plane descending.  This will most likely be a while before the Captain announces that you are coming in to land but you will know when it starts.  For long descents, like landing into major cities just stagger the feed so that your baby is still feeding as the plane touches down.  The drinking action will stop them from having that terrible ear pressure pain.  If you are bottle feeding, do the same thing.  If you have small children, give them a sandwich or something that they need to chew and swallow.  It is the swallowing action that stops the pressure, not the chewing.

When you get on the ground, get ready to get off.  Be prepared so that you can get out ahead of the crowd as much as possible.  The other alternative is to wait until most people have already departed, it is up to you which method you use.  We were so organised that we would usually manage to get off with the first few.  Get the sling on and ready to put your baby into.  If you have a small child, get them ready to get off.  I think it is a good idea to do this in a practical way and do it the same each time you travel so that they get the message just by your actions that you are getting ready to get off and this means that they need to be prepared to move when you do.  This saves you time.  For me, the routine was to pack everything away, toys included, brush their hair, straighten their clothes or take off soiled (bibs) clothes and put on new ones.  Sometimes you can do other things to prepare before the “seat belt sign” comes on again and you can still move around the cabin.  Maybe you could have changed their nappy or taken them to the toilet.  Give them a drink and then settle them for disembarkation.

As soon as the seat belt sign is off, strap baby into the sling, prepare your toddler, stand up and get anything out of the overhead lockers, pile everything over your shoulders and hands and be ready standing in the aisle to get off the plane.  I always put toddlers in front of me not behind me when walking down the aisle out of the plane to the doors.  It might be slower, but reduces the likelihood of your child being trodden on, or worse stuck behind someone who hasn’t seen them and stands up to get their baggage out, leaving you on one side and your child on the other!  I have seen this happen as well!

OFF THE PLANE

Congratulations!!!!  Now to just get your luggage and you are on your way.  Remember that you are in charge and you have the skills and the know how to deal withI anything.  Just stay calm and don’t worry about what other people think, laugh and enjoy yourself and have a great trip with your children

Its World Breastfeeding Week!

“The Office on Women’s Health (OWH) is proud to support World Breastfeeding Week 2011! This year’s theme, “Talk to me! Breastfeeding — a 3D Experience,” reminds us that communication is key to breastfeeding success. We encourage you to talk openly about how you can support a breastfeeding mom, as the U.S. Surgeon General recommended earlier this year in her Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding.”  If you support breastfeeding or the right to Breastfeed without fear and worry, join the Changing Women Forum and post your photo of you breastfeeding.

See the video here:

Words are so powerful – “Spoilt children”

Do you ever think about the words that you say and the power of those words?  I have always wondered about the phrase “spoilt child” and how people use this phrase in general conversation to describe their own child, or sometimes to describe someone’s else’s child.

I find that the use of the word “spoilt” very interesting when combined with the word “child”.  Even worse is the expression “spoilt rotten“.  If we are talking about food that is “spoilt” it generally means that the food is no longer edible or useful.  So why use the same word to describe children? Are these children no longer good?  No longer useful as children, no longer able lovable?  Sometimes you might say it almost in jest, meaning it to be playful and lighthearted – but sometimes the finer points of the meaning are not easily understood by young children.  Here are a couple of dictionary meanings of the word “spoilt”

“spoilt past participle, past tense of spoil (Verb)

When people so often say that a child is spoilt they generally mean that the child has been over indulged, they think that the child may have too many opportunities,or that they may have too many toys or the child just gets too much attention.  Personally, I don’t think that children can ever be “spoilt” by too much love and attention if they have clear boundaries and the love from caring parents.

We often use terms and phrases in our general conversation that have deeper meanings without even thinking about what we are really saying.  I have always loved words and the sound of some words so I have always listened and observed how people speak and use words.  Another saying that I find interesting is when you ask someone (in Australia) how they are and they reply “not too bad”.  Interesting, I usually then reply “then, does that mean that you think that you are bad – but today, you are just not too bad?”.  What they really mean is that they are not feeling the best today, but the use of the word “bad” is one that can seep into your subconscious.

Here is another reference to someone who we think is “spoilt”  with Holly Valance herself is using the “accepted” use of the word “spoilt” to describe herself in her relationship with her boyfriend Nick Candy.

Holly Valance and Nick Candy

Holly Valance ‘spoilt rotten’ by billionaire http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/7952157/holly-valance-spoilt-rotten-by-billionaire-boyfriend.

I wouldn’t call it spoilt to have a wonderful life with a man who loves her and can provide for her?  Surely this doesn’t mean that she is less than she can be r that she is behaving badly or that she is diminishing the life of others.

So I would ask you to think about the words that you use when talking to your child or when describing your child to other people.  The words that you speak as a parent are powerful when your child hears you say them, so make every one of them count for what you do now may effect them later.

“Take a Chill Pill” – its just a harmless saying isn’t it?

Last night we were out in the city having a great time looking at the city lights down on the harbour in Sydney.  The city was really crowded and we had to fight our way through the crowds of happy people.  There were lots of children and parents and strollers and noise and as we turned to walk up the street and small child came running out in front of us, quickly followed by (what we thought was) his mother saying “I think you need to take a chill pill”.

A harmless saying?  I think that words are powerful.  If you tell your child that they are bad then that is most likely what they will think until something changes in their life to change that view of themselves.  Chances are, that they will always remember you saying that they were bad even if they no longer believe it themselves.  We have a lot on our shoulders as parents, I know, but what you say now will affect them later.  Whilst the saying “take a chill pill” is commonly used, if used enough why wouldn’t it give a child the impression that things can be fixed with a pill?  Potentially you can move to a “sleep pill”, or a “happy pill” or a “anti depressive pill” and so on.  I could be accused of being too rigid, and have certainly be told to “chill” myself once or twice in my life - its only a saying after all you might say, but words are powerful.  Think about some of the phrases that someone said to you as a child – did they have an impact on you?  

The real issue for me is not the use of the word “pill” but its connotation and to me it is two-fold. 

1. The potentially damaging connotation that a pill will help you to chill is bad enough as it can set up a dependency on something external to yourself as a quick fix;
2. The connotation that something outside of your child and yourself as a parent is needed to fix the problem, which I think is the most harmful.

For me, this is simple event is an example of when and where personal discipline can be taught to the child – and can be experienced by the parent.  It is an opportunity to instil in them the consequences of those choices and it is an opportunity for the parent to stand firm and follow through.  I know it is not always easy to placate a tired hyped up child, but with some gentle but firm words and actions I believe you can make a better outcome than any threat of a “chill pill” will give you.  A 2-year-old doesn’t know too much of what a pill is likely to do, let alone the reference to a “chill pill” unless some other concrete action is taken prior to the event in order to embed the required learning.  What I mean is; what happens when the parent says “we need to take a Chill Pill”?  Do you also put them in their bed for some quiet time?  Or do you sit them on a mat in the lounge room with some toys whilst you continue to go about your housework?  If so, then the real actions that you have taken are what  have made the difference in that instance.  The words will just get filed away by the child for use at a later date.

As a young parent, the best advice that I got from older parents was to never threaten anything that you would not carry through.  So maybe, “time out” would be a better phrase when you need your child to calm down.  If you are out and you can put your child in a stroller, then move to the quietest spot you can find and cover the stroller a little so to minimise the light of the outside.  Give the child their favourite toy or book and go through your pre bed or calming routine the same as you would when at home.  Tell them it is OK and speak in a soothing sing-song fashion. 

For older children, you need have to be firm.  Ensure that they either sit or stand out-of-the-way of the action as much as possible.  You might have a routine where they count to one hundred or they close their eyes and think of a story until they settle themselves.  What ever it is that you do, do it the same way and what you are doing is teaching your child self discipline and you will give them the ultimate knowledge that they are in control of themselves.  That they are disciplined enough to quiet themselves without needing anything external.  This is a really useful skill for all of us to learn and comes in handy as an adult in stressful situations.

Of course there will be times when no matter what you do – it just doesn’t work.  Don’t worry – this is your opportunity for learning as a parent.  Take a deep breath, look at the beauty that is your child, yourself and your family - shrug your shoulders, give them a kiss and get on with having a good time.

Body Changes after childbirth driving you to distraction?

Embrace your shape! Think how wonderful it is that you have had the experience of child birth and marvel at the changes that your body has under goine. Embrace your shape as it is now, be kind to yourself and look forward with wonder.

Walking with your babies, being warm and other tips.

When I had my children and even when I was pregnant I would walk and walk and walk.  I loved to walk and I still do, so when the babies were little and in a pram or stroller I would walk with them everyday – it didn’t matter if it was really hot or snowing, we would walk.  When my son was a baby, we lived in Orange in country NSW where it gets very cold and sometimes snows.  It was not uncommon that the temperature would get below zero degrees C – not cold in many countries, but in Australia that is cold!  Sometimes it used to snow, but we still walked.  I would just rug up my baby boy so he was nice and warm.  I even made little quitted sleeping bags for all of them and these were great to put the baby or toddler into and then put them in the pram or stroller.  I would use these same sleeping bags when we went out to dinner so they could sleep on the floor or when we visited someone’s house.  They always had their own little sleeping bag and bag of toys so they would feel comfortable and relaxed.

I always put a hat on them – sun hat for the summer and beanie for the winter – I learnt that children lose most of their warmth through their head so when it is cold it is best to have a beanie on.  I am so often dismayed to see young mum’s and dad’s with their little ones out in the cold without a hat.  I often see tiny little babies in a parents arms or in a backpack (or baby sling) with their little arms and heads exposed to the cold.  I believe that as humans we are all able to cope with anything that god has created – so that means the weather.  Sometimes you just have to prepare for it more than at other times, but I figured if people in really cold climates could manage to take their children out then so could I.

So we would walk.  With my son we would walk up to my daughter’s school which was maybe one and a half kilometres from our house.  On the way back we would all go to the park and have a little snack that I would have brought with me.  In Orange, we would go to the big park and feed the ducks.  This was one of my now, eldest daughter’s favourite things to do and many years later when my son was about sixteen we went back to the same park and he remembered the duck visits with fondness, only this time I had another daughter to introduce to the ducks!

If it was really cold, I would put a hot water bottle into the pram or sleeping bag to warm it up first.  Before leaving the hot water bottle would come back out so that there was no danger of it burning my child but the sleeping bag would be nice and warm for them to snuggle into.  Sometimes it was just too cold to go to the park on the way back from school so we would go to a warm coffee shop for a hot chocolate treat.  There was a great “mothers room” (would now be a parents room) at the bottom of the shopping centre in Orange where you could feed your baby and have a cup of tea and biscuits.  This was a great place and as I breastfeed my babies we would go there often and all sit in the little cubicle and have our cup of tea and biscuits.  Our cubicle became a secret place as only the three of us would go there during the day when my husband was at work - it was always warm, quiet and comfortable even if it was only tiny.  There was always an older experienced mother on hand to help you if you couldn’t manage  and they would help with a gentle word or a practical idea to calm both the baby and the mother.  It is probably long gone now to make way for some money-making business or to give more car parking space, but I am sure missed by many young mums and dads.

We had moved back to Sydney when I had my youngest daughter and by this time  I was a career person on my third relationship, a little older and hardly expecting to have another child!  However, another baby was meant to be.  So once again we started with a new area to walk around and explore, but by this time the two older children were at school, they were both older and didn’t come on these excursions with us too often.  I would walk from Crows Nest to North Sydney, probably a good two kilometres each way.  We would go to the shopping centre and have a coffee and cake before walking back again, just the two of us.  It was great!  I was never worried about breastfeeding in public – it is normal after all, so I would just sit in a quiet place in the coffee shop and feed my babies when required. 

I am a pretty organised person and I always like being prepared so I have always taken something with me as a “just in case”.  On our walks and when going anywhere with children – I always take a small bottle of water, some fruit and maybe some nuts – “just in case” someone gets thirsty or hungry.  About two years ago, my then eight year old granddaughter came to stay with us in Sydney.  I had just purchased a very smart set of refillable water bottles.  Each 250 ml bottle came with its own design and a special rack to put them into for chilling in the refrigerator.  So, the first time we were going out I picked up one of the bottles out of the fridge and put it in my bag ready to take.  Seeing this, my granddaughter asked if she could have a bottle to put into her little bag.  She picked out one that she liked and there it continued to be packed every time we went out alongside her lipstick and hairbrush!  After that, she would use the same bottle when she came to our house, calling it “her bottle”.  She now has the bottle herself so she is also ready for those “just in case” moments when she is thirsty.

Walking with your babies and children is so good for all of you – take dad along too!  My children were pretty healthy when they were little and didn’t get the usual sniffles and colds that many children get.  Of course they did get sick, but I think that they were much more robust as a result of getting outside and experiencing all kinds of weather.  So get out there, walking is such an adventure for children and so good for you!

Children can fly – a childs imagination or truth?

Children flying at night

When I was little I believed that (all) children could fly.  This was well before I had heard of Peter Pan – I don’t know why but I just believed that children could fly.  This idea was as natural to me as walking when I was little.  I thought that all children would fly at night when the adults were asleep and it was a sort of secret thing that only I knew about.  I could fly so  it was just a natural assumption on my part that all other children could fly in the same way as me, but I never spoke to any other children about it apart from my little brother and sister.  Thinking back now I don’t ever remember seeing other flying children during my night travels, but so convinced that flying children was a fact that even when I had my own children I assured them that they too had this incredible ability to fly at night when everyone else was sleeping.

When I was a young child and up until I was 12 years old, we lived in the country so most of our neighbours houses were not close to ours and this meant that the night sky’s were very black, only being lit by the moon and the stars.  My bedroom was really nice, at the rear of the house it  had a raked ceiling and on one side of the room, which was the back wall of the house and there were high windows along the ceiling that spanned the entire length of the room.  You couldn’t reach the windows, but every night as I lay in my bed I could see the night sky and I would notice  how clearly the star’s would shine and twinkle through the windows.  They would call me to go flying.  Just like Peter Pan I guess, except sometimes instead of flying by myself, I would take my little brother and sister with me and we would go on a magic flying carpet just like the Arabian movies,  and we would travel far and wide way above in the sky while everyone else was sleeping in their beds at home.

From my bed I would look up and out at the stars and the black sky and soon I would feel myself lift from the bedclothes.  Then I would  just fly out of those high windows and off to adventure.  Even now as an adult with three children, one grandchild and another on the way I still firmly believe that I used to fly at night, and I still believe that all children have the ability to fly at night, but some don’t know about this ability.  Just like in Peter Pan, to ”know” how to fly you must believe you can.  I think that for children to really believe they must have parents that encourage their child to explore what seem just imaginary ideas.  Who really knows what power we actually have?  How do we really know if something is real or imaged?  Might our children be looking at something that is actually real in another time and space - like imagining something that will be in the future?  I also believe that we have just forgotten how to fly.  When I grew into an adult and started to read my own children stories, I discovered that my little sister’s name, “Wendy” came from the book of Peter Pan and I have always thought of her as magical – just to say the name, “Wendy” makes me think of those days flying at night with my brother and sister.

Peter Pan & Wendy

I also think that within us we also have the ability to teleport ourselves from one place to another, much more advanced than flying.  We just don’t know how to do it yet, but I think that we have the ability, we just don’t know it.  Sometimes I wonder if I accidentally fell down a hill, would I remember how to fly just as I did as a child?  Would it all come back to me and then I would just swoop back up into the sky flying?

Some may attribute my childhood belief in flying  to a wish to escape my childhood.  There may be some truth in that idea, but I don’t think so.  I just think that I just believed in special things and that no one was able to deter me in my belief’s.  I was also very lucky to have had a Nan and Grandfather who encouraged me to think outside of the norm.  When we were little, my brother used to believe that his best friend was a talking snake who wore a hat and carried a walking cane.  My parents used to worry that he was playing with a real snake since we lived on a farm and snakes were common.  Either way, he still came flying with me most nights when we were children - sadly I think he has forgotten this simple pleasure and now gets on with the business of being an adult like most of us.

So if your child tells you that they can fly at night then listen to them and marvel at their incredible ability.  Don’t just tell them that they are silly.  Of course you must be sure that they are not going to jump off a building or something high and hurt themselves, so it is best to talk about it first.  I think that the main thing is to embrace the “feeling” that they are expressing – it is fantastic to “feel” that you can fly.  So listen and maybe you might just remember how to fly again yourself….

….Is is it just their imagination or do children actually tap into a reality of the power that is within all of us to “know” these special things?  Maybe we just teach them to grow up and be realistic, and then they just forget those wonderful things that they “knew” when they were children flying at night. 

DISCLAIMER:  I AM NOT AND PLEASE DO NOT ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO JUMP OFF BUILDINGS IN THE BELIEF THAT THEY CAN FLY THIS IS A TRUE STORY FROM MY CHILDHOOD USED HERE TO DEMONSTRATE THE POWER OF A CHILD’S IMAGINATION.

Children in Church

I am looking to write an article about how different church/religions involve children in church. eg: in the Catholic church children are taken into the mass with their parents but for Anglican services there is Sunday school. I am looking to interview leaders in all religions to find out the rationale behind these different ways of incorporating children in church.

Dirty dummies and simple things

When I was a young mum many things seemed simpler.  I am not saying that parenting in itself was simpler, but there were certainly less things that you had to worry about!  For example: if one of my babies dummy’s fell on the floor, I would just pick it up and rinse it off under some water if there was some handy.  If not, and I had a screaming baby I would just suck on it myself until I thought it was clean enough and then give it back to the baby.  This was the very same thing that I had seen my mother do when I was young.  It was what many mothers did when I was a little kid growing up.

I breast feed all my babies so I never had to worry about sterilizing too many things until they needed juice or dummies.  I don’t know if breastfeeding mothers are now advised to wipe their breasts before feeding, but we never did when I was young.  You just made sure that you were clean and had decent hygiene so feeding your baby was easy.  With my babies, I did the usual sterilization procedure that you are advised to do to your bottles and dummies, but I didn’t go overboard and if my kids picked something up off the ground after they had dropped it whilst eating on a blanket playing on the ground, I didn’t worry either.

Once my eldest child, picked up a live cockroach and started to put it into her mouth!  She was about 4 years old when I remember seeing this wiggling black thing on its way to her mouth out of the corner of my eye whilst in the kitchen – I launched myself across the room while yelling nooooooooo, only to see her bite down hard on the middle of the black insect and start chewing.  She dropped it pretty quickly when she realised that it was not tasty, and hopefully it was the last one she tried but I don’t know that for sure.  She had very little sickness growing up so playing outside in the dirt and eating the occasional insect didn’t seem to do her any harm at all as she is now almost thirty with one child of her own and one on the way.

cockroach sandwich anyone?

When I was young, we lived in the country and my sister and brother and I spent most of our time playing outside.  I am the eldest and then my brother and then my sister in age.  I used to make mud pies and force my brother to eat them as part of us playing games in the cubby house.  We also used to smear mud and cow manure on our faces when we were playing cowboys and indians, yuk!  Thankfully we are all still alive, and I must say have pretty good skin!

I don’t know if the amount of germs have increased since I was a kid, but the current recommended regime for management of germs now is certainly more involved than I remember.  Once,when I was young, there was the “3 second rule“, this is the one where if the food in on the ground for less than 3 seconds it is still OK to eat, well that is now out the window!  You just don’t eat anything that falls on the floor now even if the floor was just cleaned two seconds ago.

I see many parents worrying that their child is going to get “dirty” while playing outside like it is another disease.  Just put outside play clothes on them and keep an eye on them and they will be fine.  What is the worry? Make sure that the outside area is safe – I ALWAYS had my children play in the backyard, NEVER in the front yard and always where I could see them.  It amazes me how many people don’t do this and don’t have their children in sight of them when they are outside.   This playing outside and getting dirty stuff used to be soooo simple.

I think that now that there is so much information for parents to use it has complicated many of the things about parenting that can just be so simple.  Things like, hungry children will eat, it is natural for children to sleep and it is natural for them to pick up dirt and try to eat it.

Have we chipped away at our children’s natural immune systems by all the over thinking and over planning?  I think that many parent’s now rely more on the information being feed to them than the information that they already have within them.  You have surely been chosen as a parent for of your child because you are the very best person to be that child’s parent so go with your gut, remember the lessons from your childhood and research what you need to.  Most importantly, have faith in your innate ability as your child’s parent – to be able – to be your child’s parent - mistakes and all!

My Fundamentals of Child Raising

After successfully bringing three children into the world and seeing the eldest two grow into fantastic adults and the youngest also on her way to a healthy happy life, I thought that I would pass on some of the commonsense things that I learnt along the way about raising children.

It hasn’t always been plain sailing for me – with my first child really challenging my skills as a parent, but overall for me, raising three wonderful children has been the highlight of my life – the most successful thing that I have done among a whole host of the “standard” types of success that we most often hear about!

I had to learn a lot of my parenting skills the hard way, having little positive experience to draw on from my childhood.  I have found that one of the best things that you can do to raise successful children, is to think about what you are doing but not to over complicate it!  Keep things simple.  Simple instructions, simple rewards, simple activities and to simply love.  That’s my idea anyway and I hope you get something from it.

My criteria for successful child raising is when you see a rounded human being appear in front of you.  Someone, regardless of age, who demonstrates care and love for others.  Someone who is centered in themself, and respectful themself and others.  Someone who may offer you commonsense helpful and caring advice when you are at your lowest.  Someone who leaves you behind and goes out into the world to make their own mark on it.  Yes, I already have two of them and a third one on the way – all fantastic people in their own right and I had some small part in helping to shape that – a fantastic opportunity for me which I will always value.

Please note:  the views that I have shared in my blog are my views only, you may gain from them or not.  I have no formal medical qualifications, only many years of practical experience to offer.  If you are in doubt to the validity of any of my posts, please seek advice from a professional.